I’ve got this covered

To criticize: to judge or discuss the merits and faults of, to evaluate or analyze. Most folks when they hear the word “criticize” think it’s a negative judgment of something or someone, but that’s only half of the definition.  It also involves acknowledging the good aspects.  I would know because I am constantly criticizing myself.

Everyone criticizes themselves to some degree, asking themselves if they did right or did they do wrong. Did they do a good job or could they have done more, tried harder.  We criticize others as well. Generally these evaluations are minimal, good or bad they rarely play a significant role in our daily dealings with others. It’s all part of being human.

I’ve always asked myself if my performance was perfect, could anyone come later and negatively judge my work. Unfortunately that’s perfectionism; absolutely no room for error. I’ve always strived to be perfect at perfectionism, not just being my best but being perfect. Honestly, it’s not a healthy or rewarding philosophy or way of life, and controlling it is unmanageable, and unattainable.

My life had been spent analyzing, constantly and repeatedly. And I didn’t just analyze myself but everyone around me. Talk about time consuming, I had no time to just enjoy what I had and what I had obtained. Life was spent jumping from one perfect moment to the next, and if something wasn’t perfect I relived it until it was.

Perfectionism is a farce, it is never obtainable for there will always be  flaws, even if it’s hidden within the folds or layers of the perfect. One just has to read Gulliver’s Travels to understand that what we experience is based on perception, and if we change that perception anything we thought to be the perfect no longer is perfect.

Perfection is influenced by our perception and perception dictates our definition of the perfect.  In realizing this I decided to change my own definition of the perfect. From that moment going forward the perfect was now good enough. I don’t compare my good enough with others’ perfect or good enough. It’s completely arbitrary, changing with every situation.

Ah, yet another complicated system reduced to something simplistic. And to prove that the simplistic works just know that even when I let go of being perfect I will undoubtedly, occasionally and rarely, be perfect.


E.T. Aka Annie